


Here Come Dat Boi!

by CosmicRiot



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka is a lil shit, Everyone just wants to sleep, O SHIT WADDUP, R2 is dat boi, Random and short, especially Scorch and Rex, here come dat boi, no angst for once, pure fluff? I guess?, shitpost, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:34:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25374742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmicRiot/pseuds/CosmicRiot
Summary: Someone has taped a speaker to the back of R2-D2 and set him loose in the barracks.
Relationships: CT-7567 | Rex/Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 6
Kudos: 132





	Here Come Dat Boi!

**Author's Note:**

> I can either write angst or shitposts. There is no inbetween.

The one thing that Scorch could appreciate about the 501st barracks, was that they were typically quiet. Not because the men were any less rowdy, oh no. The walls just seemed to be better reinforced for whatever reason. Made for good rest, which he needed after Delta Squad had been sent to Geonosis for months on end. Again. He was tired, and frankly needed a long nap before meeting back up with his squad and waiting for their next move.

Unfortunately, just as he was about to drift off into blissful sleep, a noise disturbed him. You would think that being a soldier, not only a soldier, but a demolitions expert would make him immune to noise disturbing sleep, and that was true to an extent. But the noise he heard was both familiar and not familiar to him. Straining his ears to hear better, it sounded like… A weird scuffling and machinery whirring. Almost like… Maybe an astromech roaming? But there was something else that was throwing off his guess. It almost sounded like… maybe music? Whatever it was sounded somewhat far off, but coming closer at a steady pace. Scorch did his best to ignore it, wanting nothing more than to just sleep. Unfortunately, the noise drew closer to the point where it overran any hope of sleep. 

Scorch dragged himself out of bed, going to confront whatever dared to be running around the bunks causing a ruckus at this hour. What hour was it? Well, he wasn’t sure, but damn it all, he wasn’t having it. 

The last thing he expected to see or hear when he opened the door was General Anakin Skywalker’s astromech, frantically trying to open the next sector of bunks, with what appeared to be some sort of… speaker crudely taped to his back, blaring what some may describe as music, others may describe as a hellish noise. 

“Watch him rolling, watch him go, watch him rolling, watch him go-“

“What. The Kriff.” Scorch muttered. 

R2-D2 beeped and whirred, seeming almost panicked as he worked to open the door. 

Across the small hallway, the owner of the adjacent room opened the door angrily, also likely disturbed from his sleep. Captain Rex met Scorch’s face, mouth open as if he were about to start yelling at the poor commando. Before he could, the doors opened, and the two watched R2-D2 roll away quickly, speaker still blaring. 

“He be rolling down the street, he be rolling to the beat, he be rolling down the street, he be rolling to the beat. 

Watch him roll. 

O shit waddup.”

Rex’s eye twitched. “... Catch that droid.”

“With all due respect, sir, I just got back from Geonosis. Not my droid. Not my problem. If you have a problem with me not chasing the astromech, take it up with Skywalker. Nope.” And with that, like any reasonable person, Scorch turned around and went back to bed. 

“CATCH THAT DROID!” As if on cue, Rex turned in time to see Obi-Wan Kenobi running down the hall. R2-D2 squealed and sped up, effectively running away down the hall. A few other clones poked their heads out of their bunks to see what the hell was going on. 

With a heavy sigh, Rex went after R2-D2. Swearing vengeance on whoever disturbed his slumber. The Jedi Master ran past him, but in their bewilderment, R2 had gained quite a bit of ground. All the while, “Here come dat boi, o shit waddup” following him like an ancient curse.

The chase continued for far longer than either clone nor Jedi would like to admit, before Rex had the foresight to call Anakin and ask if there was any particular trick to catching R2. He hated to bother his General when he was on a diplomatic mission… Or rather, seeing Senator Amidala, none of them were stupid, but they pretended to be for his sake, but enough was enough. 

“This better be an emergency, Rex.” Anakin crossed his arms, giving Rex a look he knew all too well. 

“Uh, hm. Kind of, General. I. You know what, just take a look.” Rex pointed his holocommunicator towards a fleeing R2-D2, chased now by Obi-Wan, Cody, Fives and a particularly disgruntled Aayla. 

“What is that noise?” Anakin wasn’t quite sure he wanted to know, but it was his responsibility. He guessed. 

“Someone seems to have taped a speaker to his backside, sir.” Rex was about as done with the situation as Anakin, but unfortunately, he was actually there. He didn’t have the pleasure of hanging up. 

“Ani, come back to bed~” A voice from the background could be heard. 

“A-uh, one second.” Anakin covered his holocom for a minute, then returned. “He’s probably just… Frightened because he doesn’t know where the sound is coming from and people are chasing him. Um, try getting Ahsoka up, he usually listens to her. Usually.” 

“I’m sure she will love being woken up at 3 in the morning, common time, sir.”

“Don’t sass me. Or let him run around disturbing you all. Really, it doesn’t affect me either way. “  
“Aniiiiii-”

“Gotta go!” With that, his General was gone. Rex groaned, heading over to Ahsoka’s bunk, knowing full well from years of “She’s late for training, go make sure Ahsoka didn’t sleep in” that she was hard as hell to wake up. 

Entering the Padawan’s room, Rex immediately sensed something amiss. Squinting in the sudden dark, he noticed two things. The first, Ahsoka sleeping on her back. Usually, she always slept on her side. And two, the odd shape on her desk that oddly enough, looked like a roll of tape… 

Rex’s eyes narrowed at the “sleeping” Torgruta, and he flipped on the light without a second thought. 

“Ack! What the kriff?!” Ahsoka flailed, getting caught in the sheets.

“What the kriff indeed, Ahsoka.” He grabbed the roll of tape off her desk and held it up. “Care to explain?”

“...O shit waddup?” Ahsoka asked. If he had control over the Force and a little less patience, he’d Force Choke her. 

“Fives, Cody, Obi-Wan and Aayla are chasing R2 around the 501st barracks. R2 is terrified, and General Skywalker is fu-... Preoccupied. He’s preoccupied with diplomacy. As our acting General, I believe it’s up to you to fix the issue.” 

“But Reeeeex-” She whined.

“That’s the hard part of a prank, Soka. You do the prank, you pull clean up duty.”

“Kriff.”

“Watch the language.” Rex couldn’t help a little bit of a smile as he leaned in and kissed Ahsoka. “You owe me for waking me up this early.” 

Ahsoka smiled back, happy to return the favour. “That’s fair, I guess.”

“Yeah, I doubt Obi-Wan and Aayla will see it that way.” Rex grumbled. “Tomorrow will be fun, I bet.”

“You mean later today?”

“Pushing it, Ahsoka.”   
“O shit waddup. O shit waddup” R2-D2 rolled by, doing his trademark scream as he was now chased by the previous group and now, a very angry looking Mace Windu. 

Ahsoka and Rex looked at each other and ran after. It was going to be quite the long day.

**Author's Note:**

> Absolutely the dumbest thing I have ever written. This started as a joke between me and my husband, and he asked me to write it for real. 
> 
> I bet he regrets getting me into Star Wars now.


End file.
